‎"Life is about change... sometimes its painful, sometimes its beautiful... most of the time its both."

ATTENTION FRIENDS: THIS IS NOT A FUN POST LOL! BUT IT'S ME!

I always wanted to keep a journal. You hear about the people who have their great great great grandmothers journal and how they cherish them. I've attempted to keep up on one many a time in my life. I be able to be faithful for a few weeks, and then get distracted. The thing I hate about my journals is they are all filled with boys. That seems to be the only thing I think is note worthy in my life. When I read back over them I end up ripping pages out because I sound so ridiculous. I was so excited to start a blog ....my way of attempting to remember random things about my life. SIDE NOTE: I have a horrible memory. Most of the memories I have are because of my pictures. When I see it, I can remember what we did....ect. I'm pretty sure that is why I am obsessed with pictures. So, back to being excited about blogging. I want to have the wonderful blogs like my friends. Honestly....right now I am not a fan of blogging. Don't get me wrong, I still love the idea....just right now I wish I could rip a few pages out. :) The hardest part of living in a world filled with technology is you have proof of what you said and did....ect. I have blogs, post, comments, pictures and a million updates that make me look like an idiot. I was in love, thinking my life was going to be wonderfuly happy in Texas. Little did I know that my husband was not feeling the same way. Now, depending on the day....I can be thankful to be getting out of my marriage for a million different reasons, or I can be crying and sometimes just down right pissed off about it.... for a million different reasons. I have wanted to write a blog about it....maybe even just to remember how I was feeling at this time in my life......but I think this is more than I want to remember. :)

I'm at a point in my life that I don't know where to go. I want to stomp my feet a say..." I am NOT leaving Texas! This is MY dream!" I want to go back home so when I cry, my mom can hug me. I want to be in Rexburg so bad I can almost taste it. Remember how I said I hate being an adult!? LIfe after divorce is not helping me get over that :) Wait....I mean during divorce.

I am not the first person to make a mistake.....and I don't even like calling it that. I'm not the first mormon woman to get divorced. The things I am going through are not firsts in the world, even though they are firsts for me....Kinda. :)

The awesome parts about Texas? Well first a formost.....I AM LIVING IN TEXAS! HELLO!! :) I love being around my Texas family. We have done so many fun things! I have a job.....and I LOVE IT! I am meeting a lot of people who think very differently than me. I do know one thing for sure, when it comes time for me to leave here....I will be able to look back with fondness.

Yesterday was my one year wedding anniversary. I admit it ....I cried. Life is crazy...but I cannot look back. I have to only look forward. Looking back only hurts me. I've spend hours trying to figure out where it all went wrong, and I'm pretty sure I know the minute. I remember what I was thinking and feeling, and I will use that as a lesson to myself. I take that back, I can think of a few.....but at least I know what they are.... or at least they are the things that I think happened. Who knows if I will ever really know. But I like my reasons. :) I don't want to be like Lot's wife......I want what is ahead of me....not behind me.

I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I have seen miracles in my life these last few months. They cannot be called anything but miracles. I know my life is not over.....it's just begining.....AGAIN! LOL! I have this picture on my facebook, my phone and now on here......because it helps me to remember that I can be happy, I AM HAPPY. Only more happiness is to come!





Soon I will figure out what I need to do with my life, and where I need to go. I am still in Texas because I need to close/ finish one chapter before I start another. I am young. I am beautiful. I am nice. I am fun. A lot of people truly love me. I am smart. I also know how to change, and am not affraid to do so.....ok maybe I am a little affraid of it.....but change can be a very good thing. Living the gospel is THE ONLY WAY to true happiness, and that is what I am focusing on to keep me sane. Hopefully I can post a blog again soon.....and maybe that day I will be feeling all happiness, rather than a mix of everything possible. :)

(Ever want to know what is going on in my brain? It's a lot like this....bouncing around all over the place! LOL! At least when I am writting something down....I attempt to focus.)

The Glass Half Full!

I decided along time ago that I hate being an adult.

When we are young that is all we can think about. " I cant wait till I am a teenager, I can't wait till I'm old enough to date, I can't wait till I'm out of high school, and my favorite....I can't wait till I'm married."

My parents always had this rule that we when we went off to school we were only allowed to date Washington boys. That way if we married them their parents would be in Washington too, and we would have a better chance of living in Washington. I obviously forgot the rule. My family must have forgot how much I love Texas and Texas boys when they all thought it was a great idea to go on my off track to visit my family in the south. I mean I was fulfilling a goal from my "100 things to do before i die" list. I love Texas. Always have. Always will.

Im glad I forgot the rule.

We moved home in November....days after we got married.... ( did you notice I said home....that meant Washington) We had this great plan to live in Washington for the rest of our lives. I mean come on it's beautiful here!! and never too hot and never too cold :) We had figured out that living away from the boys would be fine. I mean lots of people go for a summer to visit their dads. The truth is it didnt work out. Whatever the reasons.... we are heading back to the great state of Texas. :)

If you would have asked me where I wanted to live the rest of my life in high school....I would have said Texas :) Be carefully what you wish for :)

Jason Moved in April and it has been really really really hard being away from him. I've seen him two times. Let's just say I do not know how military wives do it! I can't even explain how excited I am that I don't have to live away from him anymore!!


OK back to I hate being an adult. I hate bills, I hate working, I hate being told I have to be somewhere at a certain time everyday. I'm a brat .... I know :) The thing about hating growing up...is I really havn't. I cooked Chicken by my self for the first time ever a few weeks ago. My family laughed at me and most where throughly disgusted. My mom said I should stop telling people that I'm 26 and just now cooked by myself. I think it's kinda funny.

When I went away for school there was only 4 months where I didn't have a sister with me. for those four months I didnt starve....but I surely didn't cook either.....unless you count mac and cheese and top ramen. I did made a lot of my version of hawaiian haystacks. Rice, Cream of Chicken, Can of Chicken. That is not cooking....I had a rice cooker :) The months I had a sister there...they cooked for me.

I've been married for 9 months and Jason has been gone for over 4. When he was here we lived with my mom. Either my mom or Jason would cook. Once again....they like it...so why not let them do it :) Since then Wingers has kept me fed! :)

The truth and fact of the matter is....I am terrified! I'm moving away, going to a foreign state....trust me it is foreign :), I'm married!! I haven't really lived married yet...it's gunna be werid! I'm going to live in an apt with no roommates...hes my husband not a roommate :) I'm going to have to clean and cook and and and......well I dont know but it is really scary!! I'm going to be a step mom! I mean Jaden has a great mom....but still!! When I hang out with him...I wont be his mom's sister or best friend....I know how to handle all of those situations. but an evil step mom! oh man! ....Good thing I am not evil.

Im grateful I have a wonderful, amazing, kind, loving husband who will help me through all my crying in the next couple weeks :)

This post may not sound like I am excited....but I really am!!! That was going to be the end of this blog but I think to help myself be positive I will tell you all my excitedness!!

1. I will be back with Jason
2. I will be living in Texas....remember it was my dream once upon a time!
3. I will get to see my nanny, papa, and cousins! before i got to see them once every four years...if that!
4. THIS IS A FREAKING ADVENTURE!!!( see I'm excited! )
5. We get to see Jadon a lot!!
6. For the first time since I was SIX I will have everything I own in one place!
7. Dreams do come true (see #2)
8. I get to be grown up!!
plus many many more!

Where ever I am I know I have a lot of friends and family who love me! Thats all you need in life .....no matter where you live! :)

Just Another Crazy Day!!

HHHEEEELLLOOOOO!!!! :) This is just a quick update! Jason officially started his job last week! yayayayay!!! So now it is 100% a go to move back to Texas. I've said i will move in September....but I dont think I'm going to make it that long :) I've been working A LOT! The last two weeks I've worked 40 hours at Timberland and just over 20 at Wingers! It sure makes me tired but I'm hoping it will perk me up when payday comes! :) Jason has been working a lot too! 60 hours a week! at least! ugh! Between our three jobs and crazy hours we dont get to talk very often....hense the me not being sure I'll make it till September. :) We are trying to keep our heads up becasue we need the money to move me to Texas and payoff some debt. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger........right???!! Wish us luck! :)I'll try to keep ya posted!

Anderson out!

Whats in a name???!

Hello blogging world! I have once again been inspired by a fellow blogger....and by fellow blogger i mean someone who actually updates there blog. So once again....I'm going to try to remember to let people know whats going on in the life of Rachel! I've also decided that since I'm married this should be the Rachel and Jason blog.....lets see how well that works too! Lol!


So my Entire life my mom taught me that my name is Rachel LouAnnE emphasis on the E. My senior year in high school my friends and I took a trip to Canada for spring break and had to get a copy of my birth certificate. To my dismay my birth certificate is spelled LouAnn.......NO eeeeeee!!!!! I was....and still am....so upset with my mom for lying to me my whole life!!!! She was just as shocked. It has now been 8 years since I've learned that my name is spelt wrong on my birth certificate...because by the way I love the E in my name! I've told this story a few times....cause really I think its funny. The other day I was tell my dads friend the story and my dads mouth just about dropped open! he said....and I quote..."Rachel you are crazy! your name is NOT spelt wrong! you were named after my mom Lou (who raised him) and my mom Peggy Ann (who is his real mom and died when he was young)." I think its safe to say the mystery has been solved........my dad is the one who filled out the birth certificate paper work!!!! and by the way.....my mom says my name should have had an E on it....because her name is JoAnne and she wanted it like hers.....with an E! :)

My moms middle name is JoAnne, mine is LouAnn, Laura's is LeAnne, and Isabelle's is Angela.....so you get it we all have Ann names. The plan my whole life has been to name my girls with Anne names. But of course I'm a drama queen and there has to be drama with that. :) The other day I said my whole name out loud Rachel LouAnn Anderson.....go ahead say it out loud just in case you didn't catch on to the drama. There are two Anns!! ANN ANderson!!! ugh!! I was so distraught! Names are important to me! I love being an Anderson because it connects Jason and I, but my little heart broke when I realized I either have to give my girls double Ann's (yuck!) or give up my Ann tradition! Sorry to leave you hanging but I've decided that I can freak out about it later....if I ever get a girl! something tells me that because the opposite sex has ruled my life......I will get my wish!! :)


Speaking of being careful for what you wish for (ok one last shoot off from the way i think.) I have loved Texas my whole life and would have given my left arm to live there when I was younger! I mean for heavens sake that's why I went to Texas last July!! well life in Washington has not been as easy as we thought. Jason has had a really hard time finding a job in Washington and went to visit Texas for two weeks and thought he would try his luck there.....well the heavens were smiling down on Jason:) and he got a job in Texas.......like i said....be careful what you wish for!!! :)

Here comes the Bride

Well for those of you who haven't heard.....I'M GETTING MARRIED! crazy i know! :) I met Jason here in Texas. Short version...he is my cousins best friend, he is amazing!, treats me like a princess, we are in love and sometimes love makes you do crazy things.....like getting married quickly and then moving back to Washington :) We are both pretty excited for what life has in store for us. We are getting married on November 14......which is coming very quickly. Because we decided we wanted to do this quickly it leaves us scrambling to get things done with very little money. My whole family (Mom, Dad, Carrie, Don, Mandy, Blake, Joe, Laura, Isabelle, Jordan, Damsel, Steven) are all coming down....what can i say I'm really lucky to have an amazingly supportive family. The girls will get here the Thursday before and the guys will get here that Friday. I'm having a fall wedding, its in a rec center in Saginaw Texas. It is a log cabin. My mom and Mandy are bringing a lot and my Nanny and i have been shopping fools. The big stuff is ready now we are just working on little details. My colors are burnt orange and brown with a little green and yellow thrown in. One of Jason's friends is having the cake made, i am doing my own flowers....ask me how i feel about that after the wedding. I am using the bottom of Isabelle's wedding dress and bought a top....that go pretty well....surprisingly enough. Our wedding is going to be far from traditional. We are not having bridesmaids or groomsman. My niece and nephew, Damsel and Blake, are walking me down the aisle. We are having our first dance with others dancing with us. I am really excited and my mom and I are constantly telling each other it is going to turn out great! I really think it will. For food we are serving finger foods with hot chocolate and apple cider. Our favors are going to be caramel apples and popcorn balls. We still have a ton to do....but I am at the point to where I can't wait for that day to come and go. We are going to have a reception in Washington when we get back. So keep an eye out for an invitation if you live in Washington :) To anyone out there who hasn't gotten a phone call from me lately....especially Michelle!....i am so sorry and will soon! 17 days till I am Rachel Anderson! :) Wish me luck!

Texas Talk

to catch you up....although almost all of you who read my blog know most of the stuff i put on here...my granny passed away. I miss her alot but part of me feels like its not real. It was a bitter sweet situation. at least she is now at peace. I went home for two weeks and had a really good time I was ready to head back to Texas but now I miss my family again:) I guess I will forever want what I cant have. :) Ok so to the Texas talk. Of course I have loved Texas my whole life and my decsion to move here was filling a life long goal. I do have to admit a bit of culture shock. Everyone here drinks and smokes....A LOT! There is always a Texas country band playing somewhere close by(rock music plus country equals Texas country)people are constantly being really redneck and no notices but me and of course they way they talk. I was talking to Heather the other day while i was feeding the birds and i realized that eveytime a bird in a its food or water dish i cant say "move over" or "get away" or something to get them off it....i have to say "get on yonder" GET ON YONDER! i now say yonder on a regular basis! thats the way my nanny talks to them, so they listen when i say that. heather died laughing of course and that got me thinking other things Texas people say. after talking to heather that night i started paying closer attention. the next morning my nanny was talking about some Mexicans and she called them "Mesican" HEHEHE of course i got on the phone to tell heather. ok lets get this over with........fixin to "I'm fixin to go to the store".....while ago "I was over there while ago" The Walmart. They go to The Walmart not Walmart but The walmart...they also do this with sonic....The sonic. "Man theys alot of people in there" LOL!! My family and friends are now telling me when they notice their Texas Talk. Man i love Texas!!!!! (of course there is y'all but I'm really used to that one...I've implemented that into my vocab a long time ago)

The Bird Lady

Well lets get ya caught up on me! :) School is out till January! I did ok with my grades....glad to be done for awhile. I'm here in Texas!! It feels like I'm on vacation cause my sisters, Damsel and Steven are/were here! Its been a lot of fun so far! Its also been freakin hoooottt! I've been around some real Texas life...sorta. I've gone dancing twice, it was really fun but not really what i expected; defiantly not like at school. Really my life right now consists of Ebay and Birds. My Nanny has like 500 birds. Every night we have to change their paper(the newspapers they poop on) feed and change their water. It takes awhile to do and will take longer when everyone leaves. :)We don't feed all 500 we do about 200 hundred of them and my aunt and uncle to the rest. We do all this at night and sometimes don't go to bed till after 4! It is totally messing with my sleep pattern! By the time i leave here I'm going to know soooo much about birds!! lol! My Nanny also had a lot of antiques. We are trying to help her down size by selling her stuff on Ebay. We have done ok so far....but let me tell you....i think i will never want to be around Ebay ever again after i leave here :) I still have a ton to do!!!! My Aunt Tammy helps out every night and she is alot like my aunt Mona, so that has been interesting. My Nanny and Papa are a hoot! I love just sitting around and talking with them! They are so great!!! My Nanny always has great stories or lesson! I'm loving it! I'm really excited for this fall to see where my life takes me from here! So the plan is to help Nanny, get to know her and Papa and my other family around here better. Have a different experience by being away from my family that i know, and see where the wind takes me!